He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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