I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Randomize
