Me. At least after what I've been through.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
