I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
