I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Randomize
