Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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