I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
