Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I wear drunk well.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
