I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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