So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm at about main and main street
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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