p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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