I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
