It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
