I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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