You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
