but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
