The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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