i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
