It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
