About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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