I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize