she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
