honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
