I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
