So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize