then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
