He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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