He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
