I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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