I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
