She's JV to your varsity
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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