just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize