So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
