We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
