Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
