Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
