No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
