just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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