i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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