Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
