question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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