as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
