There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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