His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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