I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
