Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize