His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
