i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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