More tranny stories later!
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I am spending my child support on dildos
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
