But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
