Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
the raccoons are back...
Randomize