Don't you send me to vm
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
