i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
