The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
