It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
