thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
