he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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