I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
