i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
