I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
