there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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